word count

a collection of pieces; good, bad, and ugly

argos.

Carina shivered as she looked up at the sky. Daylight was just breaking out on the horizon. The sun's rays reflected beneath the clouds that hung in the sky with a deep red. The sight was beautiful but the cold air shook Carina to the core. She shoved her hands into her sweater pockets and continued walking up the hill.

There already was a small crowd of people standing on the muddied grass or leaning against the bare trees. Most people interested were down at ground zero but this was the arguably best view to see the launch. Who wanted to be so close to a rocket and hurt their necks looking up into the sky?

A loud siren pierced the air and everyone on the hill fell silent. It lasted for about a minute and once it stopped, the siren echoed throughout the mountains. The city suddenly seemed so empty that it sent a chill up Carina's spine. Why was she so nervous? She instinctively grabbed at her pendant. Feeling the ridges of the stone as she rubbed her thumb over it brought her some comfort.

She could hear Mason's voice now.

"Stop touching it all the time, you'll wear it out!" Mason would always laugh at her whenever she started clutching at her necklace. "That thing's one of a kind, you know?"

Carina bit her lip as the siren starting blaring every second. People around her started murmuring. Carina kept her eyes glued to the large rocket at the bottom of the valley. She could see the mass of people around it, swarming like ants. Everyone wanted a piece of the excitement.

The rocket started to hum loudly, like a car revving its engine before speeding off. People began to count down as the hum grew louder and louder.

"17! 16! 15!"

"It's okay if you wear it out though," Mason would smile as he patted Carina on the head.

"10! 9! 8!"

He would pull her head close so that their foreheads were touching. Carina could see his eyes sparkle as he spoke excitedly and the heat of his breath on her face. "You can wear out as many rocks as you want. I'll bring you back enough space rocks to last a lifetime."

"5! 4! 3!"

Carina shut her eyes as she gripped her pendant with both hands. In the end, she couldn't watch the rocket as it boomed and soared through the air. When she finally opened her eyes, the rocket was already high in the sky, the fiery jets and the sliver of the hull was all she could see.

She stood there for some time as she watched the rocket slowly become a dot in the sky and disappeared from view. When people started to leave, she dropped to the muddy ground and continued to stare at the sky.

⋆✦⋆

Carina never understood his rock talks. Even when she nodded, asked questions, and oohed and aahed whenever he went on his rambles, Mason knew she wasn't really that interested. It took some time for him to realize it. During the early days of the relationship, he didn't see how Carina's eyes glazed over when he gave her the meteorite pendant. Mason was too excited, enough for the two of them. It was an ugly thing, a literal piece of misshapen and unpolished rock hung on a silver chain. It was a chunk of a meteorite, mostly iron with bits of hematite embedded on it. But the meteorite it was from had struck Earth on Mason and Carina's first date and space journals covered the event for months.

Still, she wore it everyday and the sight of her with it on warmed Mason's heart. Her instinct to reach for it whenever she was worried was a cute gesture and he felt pride in giving her something that calmed her whenever she had those anxious moments.

Looking out the window, Mason saw the sun shine out on them like a spotlight against the darkness of space. Earth was barely visible and it hadn't been for a while now. It became just another sparkling speck in the sky. Mason wondered what Carina was doing now but tried to brush the thought out of his mind.

They parted on ambiguous terms. He had tried, weakly, to end it.

"You don't have to wait for me," Mason had whispered one night.

They were out star gazing, "a Mason activity" as Carina called it. This was one of the few space things Carina enjoyed to do with him. While she didn't understand the physics and the theory, she loved taking the road trip out of the city with just the two of them.

Her eyes were glued to the telescope. At first, she didn't say anything. When she finally spoke, it seemed like she didn't hear what he said. "I looked this up the other day," she said, adjusting the knob. "One of the reasons why scientists think there might have been water on Mars is because there are large deposits of hematite. And Mars is so red because in its powdered form, hematite is red."

Mason couldn't help but crack a smile. He couldn't imagine her reading science articles about Mars in her spare time.

"Sounds like there's a lifetime supply of rocks up there," Carina concluded, standing up straight to look at Mason. Seeing her wet eyes and knotted eyebrows, Mason couldn't help but rush over to her and hold her. Carina returned the hug and buried her head into Mason's jacket. With a shaky voice she murmured, "I don't know what will happen until then, but I want those space rocks."

The next month, Mason was in space.

"Time for the daily scrum, Ace!" Vela punched him in the shoulder. With a start, Mason winced, rubbing his arm in pretend hurt. Vela turned back and laughed as she floated off towards the main quarters.

Flavia (she preferred being called by her surname, Vela) was scary good with her intuition as she always caught Mason whenever his mind drifted off back to Earth. When Mason had met her in training, he didn't think much of her. She was just one of the other astronaut hopefuls who were determined to get on the next launch. However, as soon as the team was formed, Vela gracefully took on the role of commander and quickly tried to bond with the team. She was successful with it. Maybe a little too successful.

Mason yawned as he drifted into the main quarters. Everyone was gathering around the whiteboard. They had been in space for nine months now. The Mars landing date was less than a week away. They had all been preparing for this even before they stepped onto this ship. Everyday they would go over the plan, just in case the first 935 times didn't stick. Once they approached Mars, they would change their velocity in order to enter orbit. Simple. Even Carina seemed to get it, once he drew it out for her.

As Mason took his place, he nodded his acknowledgement of the others. There was Bronislav, a forty-something year old Russian who had already done several missions in space. There was something stereotypically Russian about Bronislav;, his face was permanently in a frown, even when he laughed. His prominent brow ridge always made him look like he was angry. Honestly, Mason liked that about Bronislav. It kept him on his toes.

Then there was Ida who was an American biologist. She was pretty plain, in Mason's opinion and a little geeky but she was surprisingly bubbly. On a good day, Mason appreciated her upbeat attitude, but on a bad day, talking to her was the last thing he wanted to do.

One day, he and Bronislav had floated over into the service module and witnessed Ida and Vela getting a little… Intimate. Ida was cutely embarrassed about it but Vela embraced it, just as long as NASA never found out. Bronislav wasn't surprised, Ida and Vela were close ever since training but Mason always thought it was a little inappropriate. They were all coworkers here. If it would help them stay sane through ten years, Mason understood the need. It just seemed like it would get messy if things went wrong.

The four of them made a good crew. He and Ida were more research focused. Ida was researching dirt, as Mason liked to tease her. In reality, she wanted to know the feasibility of growing crops on Mars. Long ago, NASA stopped caring about contaminating the planet. It was time to start thinking about colonisation.

As for Mason, his main shtick was rocks. He was to collect samples of the Martian rocks for further analysis. He also was to take a look at the volcano, Mount Olympus.

So as they crowded around the whiteboard and Vela drew out the orbits for the 936th time, they all nodded and oohed and aahed. Mason felt a weird kind of kinship with these people, even if they were just coworkers. It helped him get his mind off of Earth and off of Carina. Sometimes.

⋆✦⋆

Even though it was possible to communicate with the astronauts in space, Mason discouraged it. It hurt Carina knowing that he was just an e-mail or a video call away. She knew it was for the best but there was a weird sense of dread that Carina had with every passing day. She knew she shouldn't be thinking about Mason all the time but she wondered about him. How he was doing. If he was enjoying what he did.

Carina and Mason met each other at an art and science mixer. Carina was a music major. Mason was a geologist.

When they first met, Carina thought nothing about Mason. He was a tall lanky and nerdy looking guy. Curly hair, all nose, and big huge glasses. Not Carina's type, she preferred her starving artists. She wasn't there to meet guys anyway. Like a typical university student, all she wanted was free food.

With a pop in hand, Mason stood awkwardly with his friends, avoiding eye contact with anyone. It was his friend who introduced him to Carina.

Carina was tall, like Mason, which already added points to her favour. When he found out she was a music major, Mason became interested even if he wasn't too big on music. There was something a little nerdy about music that he appreciated.

After that, Carina started to make frequent appearances in their hangouts. After a while, Mason built up the courage to ask her out. He was acutely aware of how out of his league Carina was so it was a shock to him when she accepted.

Carina on the other hand, just didn't want to say no. Mason never stood out to her but she enjoyed his company. The first date went well though. They ended up talking until the early hours of the morning and it quickly translated to a second date and a third date...

When Mason graduated, he went on to get his masters, with a specialty in geology. This was when he decided to aim to become an astronaut. It was almost every kid's dream. He began to work out not just to meet the fitness requirements but also in part to at least try to match Carina in looks. Everyone who met them were always a little surprised whenever they learned Mason and Carina were together.

As for Carina, she went into education. She wanted to become a music teacher.

Carina did not anticipate Mason getting into the space program. She thought it was a worthy goal but a little out of reach. When they found out Mason got in, they were both ecstatic. They weren't worried at the moment about separation. Most missions lasted a year at the most.

But then Mason was assigned the Argos mission. Carina was speechless when Mason mentioned it to her. The mission would take a whole ten years. Too long. Anything could happen in ten years. And they were both still so young.

Carina tried to put on a happy face but she was afraid. She knew in her core Mason was the one. This was not only great for Mason but a huge step for all of humanity. It was a momentous occasion. How could she ever get in the way of that?

A couple months after Mason left, Carina kept her eyes glued to the screens. She secretly hoped to see a message from Mason but she also wanted to keep track of their progress. Everything was available these days. The astronauts would frequently post their daily adventures on social media or write articles about their voyage.

How the Internet worked all the way up theire, Carina didn't know. Mason had said something about a relay on the moon but she didn't understand it.

Carina was worried. Worried about being forgotten. Worried about being left behind. While the love of her life was quite possibly having the time of his life.

She sighed and looked around her. And here she was, definitely not having the time of her life. She was teaching junior high kids. They were all ungrateful brats. None of them had passion for music. Junior high was nothing like she remembered. All these kids wanted were A's and for their parents to get off their backs by learning an instrument.

There was one kid though who suggested they play Gustav Holst's Mars. Her face paled immediately at the suggestion and she quickly tabled the idea. It was way out of their skill level anyway.

Mars, the Bringer of War.

Carina wanted to grab at her necklace. But she had taken it off the day Mason was rocketed into space. Even a small gesture like taking off her necklace was something she did to convince herself that she was trying to move on.

⋆✦⋆

"Alriiiiight, Houston," Vela talked into the radio as if she was an announcer. "We are approaching the apoapsis in approximately twenty minutes."

Everyone was strapped into their seats, all suited up. It was time to maneuver around Mars. They all sat in silence, as they awaited a response from HQ.

"Copy that," HQ crackled through the speakers in the hull ten minutes later. The voices from Earth brought a sense of calm over Mason. They were still there. And they would be there after they touched down. Damn the delay. He wished they would speak through the whole thing.

"Okay," Vela's voice suddenly reduced to a whisper. "Approaching in T-minus eight minutes."

Bronislav flipped up the switch for the engines, warming them up for the speed change. "Engines heating," he said flatly in his thick Russian accent.

"Godspeed Argos," HQ crackled back in. Mason closed his eyes. If that was the last thing he heard from Earth, Mason would be content.

Mason felt the ship start to vibrate around him. The engines were humming loudly, just like how they did on lift-off. He wished the sound could reverberate through space and back to Earth.

"One minute," Vela said excitedly, her voice reaching back up to her normal volume. "30 seconds… 20 seconds…"

Mason closed his eyes as Vela continued on. He thought back to when Carina saw Mars from his telescope for the first time. She was largely disinterested in it but when they got back, she decided to rent The Martian. They both sat in her living room in the dark. The light from the TV shone on her face, illuminating her skin with red light.

"Now!"

Bronislav exhaled loudly. They both pushed down on the levers, activating the engines. The ship turned slowly as it veered off it's previous path. Mason slowly opened his eyes. The view of Mars filled the entire window. Mason shivered as he took in the red landscape in front of him. It was beautiful.

⋆✦⋆

No one wanted to do any work today. Who would work when the first human beings stepped on Mars? Instead, they hauled all the kids into the gymnasium and loaded up a livestream. Carina tried to hide her nervousness and tried to play it off as excitement.

That morning, she broke her discipline and put her pendant back. There was no way she was going through the day without it. Her hand permanently stuck to the rock, her thumb rubbing frantically at the rough surface.

Carina watched eagerly as the livestream started. Mars 2020, the little robot rover that called Mars its home for the past couple of years pointed its camera up at the sky. She heard a woman's voice boom throughout the gym.

"Alriiiiight, Houston."

That was Vela, Carina tried to recall. Or was it Ida? She didn't really remember. She had met them a couple of times but they were always joined at the hip, she never knew who was who.

Carina fidgeted impatiently as Vela counted down and the kids chanted along with her. She imagined Mason in her head, grinning from ear to ear in the spacecraft. The first human beings on Mars. Her Mason.

"3… 2… 1… Now!" Vela cried out. The students cheered as they heard the rocket engines stir to life.

The Mars 2020 continued to stare at the red sky as everyone anticipated something to happen. Which, nothing would once Argos was in orbit anyway. It would take some time before they deployed their landing vehicles.

"Everything looks good," Vela's voice came back on. "Time to reposition the ship. We've got one chance to do this ri-"

The livestream suddenly turned black. Newscasters filled the screen as they began to read off a prompt, their faces somber.

Carina pulled hard on her necklace.

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