joyride.
October 11, 2005
This is not a diary.
Well, I’m in big trouble now. That is, if I get caught. Cause I went out joyriding.
It was a sweet deal. I totally trashed my neighbour’s car...If you call that piece of junk a car. I mean, who drives a Mazda 1980, anymore? They should be happy that I got rid of it for them.
If I did ever get caught, Anna or Kate would somehow bail me out. But Anna’s not here isn’t she? Kate’s not sick anymore either. Man, if that trial lasted, then I could get out of it. But Anna’s not here and Kate’s not sick.
Even though I know it sounds sick to say that I wished that Kate was still...ill, but I somehow miss it. The attention always was on her. But now the attention’s split equally. But then again, it feels good to be known to the family once in a while. Sometimes I wish Anna was here to bask in it too, you know what I mean?
Sometimes I feel that I have to do something for Anna. I wanted to be recognized, I wanted people to be proud of me. Maybe if I actually did something to prevent Anna from dying...Yesterday, it hit me. I could become a police officer.
Yeah, dad would say that I needed to clean up my act ALOT, but it’s worth it, right? Saving lives to pay for Anna’s death. Kind of sounds evil in a way, but when you think about it, it isn’t.
So, I guess that’s why I trashed the car yesterday. I needed to do one last thing before I start cleaning up. For old time’s sake. For Anna who could never trust me whenever I was behind the wheel. But I think she was in the passenger seat next to me, enjoying the last lick of the dying flame.